Look Upon the Giver

Control promised this illusion of safety. I thought shallow waters made it harder to drown.

I clung tight to things that kept me afloat, and kept my eyes off of You.

I refused to see your goodness. These waves must have come from you.

Mercy was clearly set before me, but my heart was blinded, still clinging on to lies.

How can you rescue someone who doesn’t see they’re drowning?

In my struggle, You led me deeper, out into open water.

The salt stung my eyes, and my lungs felt like they were collapsing.

In the middle of my drowning, I realized that this is where life is found.

I once longed to trust in the things I could hold onto-the things that appeared to be strong.

I tried to understand You, by comparing You to what I can comprehend.

That left me with an incomplete view of who You are-

Leaving me with who I wanted You to be, and still looking for more.

Relationship with You began, and I caught a glimpse of who You are.

You are pure, holy, powerful, wise and just. There is no one like You. None besides You.

The illusions of You I used to comfort myself with, can not be sustained.

This is real, continual refinement and surrender-

Redemption is bursting forth from Your hands.

To know You is to love You. To trust my life in Your hands.

To surrender control and admit my rebellion.

Omission is not an option. There is nothing unspoken, unsaid.

You know the depths of my soul. The condition of my heart.

I know that I can not save myself, or leave Your watchful eyes

I was treading water when You asked me to walk upon the waves

You didn’t invite me out of the storm, You invited me to change my view

You are calling me, into raging waters, asking me to trust You,

answering a naive petition, uttered as a half-hearted prayer, to really know you.

Through the waves, You are teaching me who you are, teaching me who I am

I don’t have to fear the storms that come.

My hope is no longer in the things I think can weather a storm

I know You, the One who whispers to the waves. You are my hope.

Trusting in You, is trusting that every outpouring leads me back to the Fountain

In water’s gentle whispers and when thrown into the waves, I am not alone

You’ve turned my eyes from the gifts I clung to, and let me look upon the Giver