There are days when having three kids three and under is a breeze, and days I long for bedtime like the return of Jesus. People make annoying comments about how busy we must be, how we must not know how having back to back kids happens, etc. Sometimes people make comments about how we find the money to diaper, feed, care for them in general. Most of the time the remarks roll off our backs, but sometimes they hurt. There is something about being our age with the amount of kids we have and their ages that most people around us just don't get. This was especially evident when we took in Jakob and had the loneliest year of our lives. We are in between people groups. We are not just married and enjoying being "just married". We are not twenty-five with out first kid on the way. We are not in our thirties with older kids or our forties with teenagers. We are in the middle. That middle place can be lonely sometimes. There aren't a lot of people who can relate, and the few that are, typically don't live the outgoing lifestyle we do. They keep to themselves to survive. The older couples do their thing with people their age and talk about how we will be in their shoes someday. That's great, but it would be nice to have people walk along side us, too.
The middle is a hard place, but the Lord has been teaching me a lot here. He is revealing himself to me in new ways and is speaking life over me when I feel dry as a bone. There is purpose in His plans for our lives. It has taught me how to reach out to moms of all ages and offer support, regardless of their age and amount of children. It has been a stretching and growing season in my life.
This has been my personal prayer in the middle.
Lord, may my loneliness be another place I meet you
It is in this place of dry bones that I look to you to restore my soul
I am empty without you
Satisfy my soul with deep waters
Your love is perfect
Your will is my desire
Hear my cries to you and turn your face to me
May your heart be shown through me
My words be an offering of praise
Restore in me the joy of your salvation
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