The White Flag

A few weeks ago I overheard something that has stuck with me and I can't seem to escape it. I was in a restroom changing one of my babies when I overheard a group of moms talking. Their topic of conversation was something I hear from other moms personally, and a subject I see in blogs, forums, articles, etc. That subject is something along the lines of "mom surrender". Waving their proverbial white mom flag of surrender. I get it. Mom life is hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, no question! There are days that feel like years and things come out of you that you didn't know where inside you, good and bad...but since when is giving up on yourself and your family, even for a day, ok? We've become so aware of our feelings and emotions, that we sometimes let them run all over our lives. I FEEL defeated, so I must BE defeated. That is not what I know to be true.

These moms were going on and on about who accomplished the smallest amount of "mom jobs" that week. "I let my kids eat cereal for lunch every day this week, because I was too tired to make anything!" "I haven't done laundry in weeks.""I just watched movies with my kids all day for the last two days."

I get it. I've had my fair share of days that have been more about survival than anything else. Those days will always be a part of having children. I'm not saying they won't, but how have we come to a place in society that competing for the "worst mom" award is now funny and somehow makes you a more "real", likable or down to earth mom? Everyone can sympathize with a mom going through it, here and there, but we are glamorizing the laziness and the "my give a damn is busted" attitude. Why are we so much more comfortable talking about our failures and encouraging each other in those? If I told one of my true friends that my house was a mess and I was completely falling apart, they would show up with dinner and clean my floors and speak truth over me.

I want moms around me who will be pushing each other towards God, his grace, the sacrificial love He shows us, and that we can show our families. We are capable of great things, through him, and ONLY through him. He is always there, available, but I feel like he is a last resort, not the first one we turn to. That needs to change. We might feel more comfortable going to our mom friends struggling in pursuing excellence, just to commiserate with. It's hard to fight for truth and life in your own home(heart). It can be just as hard to find others doing the same. I hope to always be that friend to someone, and have those kind of friends around me.

There is one thing I grew up that has always stuck with me, and that is showing excellence in everything you do. Not perfectionism and self-reliance, just excellence. My dad would make us do something over and over again, until it was done with excellence. That has never left me. It has taken me places I wouldn't have been able to go if he hadn't laid that strong foundation. My wonderful youth pastor, Cory Wise, would challenge us to leave places better than we found them, finish jobs others left undone, and hold ourselves to standards that complimented our convictions. I don't know about you, but I don't know a lazy Jesus. I don't know a Jesus who half-asses his way through life. I don't know a self-pitying Jesus who laid around and gave up when his disciples were frustrating him. He laid down his life for them, for me. That is the example I am to live and leave for my family. It is something I strive for, not for acclaim, but because I know the one who laid down his life for me. I want the best for my family, and that's not going to happen when I accept anything less than HIS grace being sufficient for my weakness. There is grace and peace in the midst of the chaos, available to you. Are you accepting it or relying on your own strength?

Take down that white mom flag. God has called you to motherhood, and that means every day is a battle. Fight for excellence and show those little people the love of Jesus in your words, actions,  and how you scrub their toilets. Find some moms who will spur you to be more like Jesus and only surrender to Him. If you don't have those friends, be that friend, and ask the Lord to help you change the climate of your friendships.