Great Expectations

Real talk...I struggle with expectations...probably more than anything else. Expectations are the doorway of many of my sin issues. Expectations, or specifically, expectations that are not being met, are where a lot of the ugliness in me stems from. I looked up the definition just for kicks, and it was a convicting gut punch. I felt like God spoke this little definition  directly to my heart, just to remind me what it is I'm allowing (choosing) to rule me.

ex·pec·ta·tion

ˌekspekˈtāSH(ə)n/

noun

plural noun: expectations

1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

   "reality had not lived up to expectations"

   synonyms:

   supposition, assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation, prediction, hopeMore

   • a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

     "students had high expectations for their future"

     synonyms:

     supposition, assumption, presumption, conjecture, surmise, calculation,  prediction,hope "her expectations were unrealistic"  (<----Coincidence? I think not...)

   • archaic

     one's prospects of inheritance.  (Ouch...gut punch)

   
   

   
   
2. Alrighty...so, that was convicting for me. I could write a book on all my expectations, and why I have them, but the truth is they all have one thing in common, and that is my pride. Here are some of my most prevailing expectations, that wreak havoc on my life when they aren't met:

My children's behavior: 

I expect them to obey. 

I expect them to be responsible (within reason).

I expect them to not make the same mistakes over and over again.

I expect to see progress and improvements in areas where I have invested so much of my own time and energy (identity-ouch).

My marriage:

I expect my husband to read my mind and for us to communicate with ease.

I expect my husband to learn patterns in our relationship and react accordingly.

I expect my husband to do things the way I would do them in any given situation.

I expect my husband to be the man I think he should be or the man I see other men being in any given situation.

I expect my husband to lead my family the way I imagine him leading us.
I essentially expect him to not be who God created him to be. Uhg. Ouch.

For myself:

I expect myself to respond to my husband and my children with sacrificial love and patience.

I expect myself to perform to my own high standards every moment of every day.

I expect myself to be the wife I imagined I would be and was told I "should be".

I expect myself to live a perfectly balanced lifestyle of service to family and church body, my community, self care, maintaining friendships and developing new ones, taking time to read and do my devotions, plan and cook healthy meals, whatever...the expectations sometimes become more as the day goes on. There is always room for improvement, and I seem to be the first to notice and the first to be frustrated when that "improvement" isn't accomplished. 

I won't even get into expectations of friends and family, my church family, husband's employer, etc. The list could go on forever.

There are two main root issues that I can always trace these expectations back to. Pride and control. Those are two pretty ugly words. They tell me I have put my identity in things other than Jesus and that I don't trust Him. They show themselves in my responses to experiencing disappointment. If I were to take those two ugly factors out of any life equation, my responses would be drastically different. What if I could replace them with grace and humility? What would that do to the climate of my home? My marriage? My relationship and responses to my children? How much more of an impact would I make for the kingdom of God, if I could just leave behind the kingdom of Lydia? 

That is what I'm working on right now. My responses lately have been out of pride, anger and control. I'm asking God to help me be more aware of the condition of my heart, so I can see where I need to choose new expectations. I'm asking him to replace the ugly manifestations of sin within me, with His character.

My great expectations should be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.